An open letter to my toddler

Dear Son,
Tonight, when we took you to your sister’s open house at school, you seemed to have a nuanced, finely-tuned plan.
You began with a spirited refusal to submit to our unreasonable request that you wear pants in public.  After a snot-spewing tantrum and a wrestling match you generously let me think I had won, you [...]

I have SOME boundaries

My well-meaning friends keep trying to convince me I need to add a pet to our freak show.  Let me answer you all here, in writing, so you can reference my pet policy before you think about approaching me next time.
To my friend who owns a large black dog: when you told me how he [...]

As a Mother, I have Failed

My children should be calling Child Protective Services.

I put the peanut butter on the wrong side of the cracker.  I didn’t realize there was a “right” side of a saltine, as they look identical, but I now stand corrected. One side is clearly better than the other.
The other soccer sock was under the mudroom shelf [...]

I don’t care about the rainforest anymore

We have two vehicles.  One is a van that, while it requires more gas, keeps the anarchists separated in the back.  The car, very fuel efficient, keeps them in close vicinity to each other.

Here is a snippet of what will come out of your mouth if you go on a “green” road trip with 3 [...]