Gratitude
I am not high maintenance in what I am grateful for:
- While it is my most burning desire to live near a Target, I am grateful it is NOT the one in Brooklyn. The passion and violence displayed by shoppers there bore striking resemblance to drunk fans at a British soccer game.
- I am grateful I actually left the aforementioned Target with my 11 yr old. I was so busy watching a toddler during the mayhem, I erroneously assumed an older child with a stand out IQ would be smart enough to stay near mom. 15 minutes of “missing” and a “Just looking at iTunes cards. Relax.” later, I aged a decade.
- I am grateful I resisted the urge of beating her and then setting her on fire.
- I am grateful (but relieved may be a better term) that the Target clerk who was extremely rude to me didn’t get violent when I called her, well, a bad name. Not my finest moment, to be sure. Wherever you are, I am sorry and thanks for not beating me and setting me on fire.
- It warms the heart to see that even stone faced New Yorkers smirk when a toddler shouts “I want hot fuckwit. FUCKWIT! NOW!” (hot chocolate).
- I am grateful that when the inevitable toddler tantrum happened and he threw himself on the ground because the people he was with JUST DON”T GET IT, it was not where the blue slushy had just been spilled.
- I am grateful that while I was stupid enough to bring two children on this fateful shopping trip, I was smart enough to leave the third with her cousins.
Feel free to share your contemplations of gratitude.
Tags: Brooklyn, tantrums, Target, Thanksgiving, toddlers
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December 1, 2008 at 6:15 pm
fuckwit. i love your son as much as my own.
what the HELL were you thinking taking ANY children with you!? my god, woman. spawns of satan and the christmas rush…it could be a musical!
December 13, 2008 at 12:14 am
EVERY trip to Target with my kid is a nightmare. Therefore, allow me to say, I am grateful for every time I leave there having not caved in to her “need” for Pokemon Cards or other life saving gear.
January 11, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I am grateful that you and your mob of children do not visit my convenience store. You sound like a most unruly collection. And thank you also or the amusing posts.